Posted by Jason Wiener in Movie Reviews on June 7th, 2008

The fun continues with three more movies, and a couple of shorts.

First up was the local short film, “Imp of Satan”, which I like to call “Buttsecks of the Dead”. A gay couple decides to move in together since one is having problems with his apartment/landlord. So he calls to tell his landlord he’s breaking the lease. Too bad the landlord worships Satan. There’s no way I could name them all, but here’s a pic of all the Satanic imps behind this movie:

Then the feature film paired with the short was “Mindflesh“, based on the novel “White Light” by local author William Scheinman. Chris is a cab driver, but lately he has neglected work to chase a vision. He swears he can see a beautiful (and often naked) woman, but whenever he chases her she disappears. His friends think he’s crazy, and maybe he is but they’re not really ones to talk (especially the cop who jacks off to crime scene photos). Things get especially strange when the mysterious woman becomes very real–at least for times. A friend loans him a book which might hold the answer, he tracks down the author who’s angry and frightened by him. It all has something to do with his “Supernature“. Maybe he has the psychic ability to make his obsessions flesh, or maybe his mind holds the passage to other levels of existence. What is sure is that there’s a very naked woman in his home a lot, and they have sex (which might be literally him fucking his own mind). And this all has to do with some terrible childhood trauma, which manifests as some hideous fucked up imagery (I won’t get the crotchful of maggots out of my mind for quite a while). Anyway, here’s a pic of the sick bastards who came up with this–director Robert Pratten and author William Scheinman:

And then I saw the early winner of the festival so far, and an excellently twisted Japanese splatstick comedy flick, “Machine Girl”. Ami is a peaceful but athletic girl. Her parents are dead (suicide after being accused of murder) and all she has is her little brother Yu. He’s picked on by bullies, led by the son of the local ninja Yakuza gang. They kill him, she gets revenge they get revenge back, she gets more revenge. A good time is had by all. That good time involves tons of blood, ninjas, severed digits, limbs, heads. A machine gun arm, a chainsaw leg, flying guillotine, and tempura. That’s just to name a few of the delights. A crowded theater was whooping it up all through the chaos. I think we have a new certified cult classic.

Oh, and for fans of Japanese splatstick gore-comedy, not only does “Machine Girl” play twice more–June 12 at 5 and June 14 at 9:30–but Holehead has added a new bonus closing night screening. On June 22, 8:00 at the Brava theater (24th and York) they’ve added the west coast premiere of “Tokyo Gore Police”, with effects by the same guys who did “Machine Girl”. This isn’t on the printed schedule, and I don’t know how prominently announced it is on the website. So you just have to be in the know. And now you are.

And finally the last show, with free beer by the wonderful sponsor Red Hook (at all the midnight shows). First up the short “Date of the Dead”. Blind dates can be frustrating, but when your date has to constantly excuse herself on some pretense so she can feast on the flesh of the living, that’s kind of awkward. And here’s the guy responsible for it, local director Dusty Caruso.

And finally, the best title in the festival, “Mutant Vampire Zombies From the Hood”. This one I’m dedicating to all my colleagues in nuclear medicine, since it starts with a drug deal gone bad in a Compton nuc med supply warehouse. This is actually important, because the lead walls storing all those radiopharmaceuticals protect them from the massive solar flare that turns nearly everyone else into zombies. Interestingly, this movie approaches the fast zombie/slow zombie/smart zombie logic in a unique way. The solar flare causes mutations that manifest differently in different people. So the survivors (one cop and several drug dealing gang members) have to battle all different types of zombies, including ones so smart they pass for human. Along the way they make references to Romero movies and others (”Aliens” comes up a lot) on their way to a surviving scientist who is broadcasting on public access TV. The scientist happens to have a really hot daughter, so repopulating the planet won’t be a problem (and in the one sex scene she gets off on letting the zombies watch. That was pretty twisted). But first they need to get to the airport and escape. Basically, this was a great movie for getting drunk and shouting at the screen. It was a lot of fun. I wonder how it plays sober. Here’s the homey who made this flick, Thunder Levin:

Posted by Jason Wiener in Movie Reviews on June 7th, 2008

One of the Holy Weeks of the film festival year started last night! It’s great to be back, and I’m looking forward to a good looking lineup this year.

It’s already started off better than last year. The opening night film was “The Gene Generation”. The only caveat I have to put on this film is do not try to understand the science or take it seriously. I guess the second caveat I can put in there is while they accomplished a lot with a very low budget, the fake CGI backgrounds loook like…fake CGI backgrounds. I know this bugs some people, I can easily forgive it if the movie is interesting enough (and this one certainly was). What you should enjoy is the stylish cyber-punk Bade Runner/Crow future set design, the gross out giant worm/tentacles, and Bai Ling kicking everyone’s ass (and showing her boobies in a brief love scene), and some good ol‘ sadism.

In the future, gene therapy research advanced to the point where you could heal instantly with a touch, or kill instantly (with tentacles that burst from the victims body–this is the science you shouldn’t take seriously). Hayden technologies, the inventor of a DNA manipulation glove called a “transcoder“, is blown up shortly after the weapon capabilities were starting to be explored (and turned Faye Dunaway in to a tentacle beast). One scientist survived, with the last transcoder. In the world left after the explosion, DNA hackers thrive, as do the assassins hired to take them out. The best of these assassins is Michelle (Bai Ling). Her problem is, she has a worthless brother, Jackie. He’s a drunk and a gambling addict who’s always getting beaten up for his debts. To maybe get a little scratch to help pay off debts, he robs his neighbor, and finds nothing of interest other than this weird glove like thing that clamps to people’s hands and burrows into their skin (a Chinese finger trap for idiots?). The transcoder becomes both the MacGuffin and a weapon for the action that follows, as everyone struggles to possess it, and then to not be destroyed by it. And all the while, everything just looks fucking cool. No more plot spoilers, I’ll just end by saying I loved it, and here’s a pic of producer Keith Collea and director Pearry Teo:

Then I stayed for the second film of the night (rather than going to the after party), a Thai horror movie, “Alone”. The premise is so simple and effective that it seems odd that I’ve never seen it before. Simply put, a woman is haunted by the ghost of her conjoined twin (or Siamese twin. Hmmm…Thailand used to be called Siam). Pim and Ploy were conjoined twin sisters, and obviously very close as children (in all senses of the word). But their bond became more like shackles just as soon as Pim fell in love with Wee. To be with Wee, Pim convinced Ploy to go along with the operation to seperate (they were attached by a small section of their bellies). Ploy didn’t survive. Pim and Wee moved to Korea to get away from it all. Now her mother is sick in the hospital, and Pim returns home to look after her. Ploy’s ghost uses the opportunity to attack.

But what impressed me even more than the simplicity of the premise was the excellent creepy atmosphere and just how well done everything was–even the scares I knew were coming still made me jump. A while back I mentioned that I was a big fan of Wisit Sananatieng and as far as I’m concerned he’s the beginning and end of Thai cinema (other than the martial arts of Tony Jaa, which have never had a great story to go along with his skills). Well, since then the movie gods seem to have conspired to show me there’s more to Thai cinema, like writer/directors Banjong Pisanthanakun and Parkpoom Wongpoom. New resolution, I will no longer ignore Thai cinema, and especially Thai ghost stories–they have excellent atmosphere.

Posted by Jason Wiener in Movie Reviews on April 10th, 2008

At the fabulous Parkway Theater, meaning with pizza and beer. Yummy, if only they made a pizza with braaaains!

Anyway…so I’m a huge George Romero fan. To the point that I understand the zeitgeist of the decades by looking at the “* of the Dead” movies:

60’s–”Night of the Living Dead” = Race issues (first horror movie with a black hero)
70’s–”Dawn of the Dead” = Rampant consumerism
80’s–”Day of the Dead” = Military buildup
00’s–”Land of the Dead” = Class warfare, the gap between the haves and the have-nots widens (also the one where “the zombies are us” is most telling)

00’s, part 2–”Diary of the Dead” = New media, and distrust of all media.

A group of film-school students, along with their professor, are shooting a cheesy horror film (and taking a dig at fast-moving zombies) when the dead come to life. As they witness what happens–and the official news cover-up (’they’re not dead, they’re illegal immigrants with exotic diseases!’)–they decide to document it all and upload it on the Internet so everyone can know the truth. By cutting back on the technology, Romero throws a lot of ideas into this movie, and makes the best Dead movie since “Dawn” (the original, of course).

So I want to say something to all the people who compare this to “Cloverfield” with zombies. You guys are completely missing the point. In “Cloverfield” (which was technologically impressive), the hand-held effect is meant to make it feel more immediate and real, like a home movie (the fact that there were such ridiculous plot holes sort of destroyed that effect, but that was definitely the intention). In “Diary of the Dead”, Romero isn’t going for realism, he wants you to question what you see–not just in this movie but in everything. In the beginning, the character named Debra tells you that she’s the editor (i.e., this was edited!), what the movie was shot on, even that she added music to intentionally try to scare you (incidentally, this faux-documentarian inserting herself into a movie would be unheard of pre-Michael Moore). And it doesn’t just use the student’s footage, there’s security cameras and news stories, too. So it’s wrong to compare it to the home-video style of “Cloverfield”. It’s more akin to Brian DePalma’s “Redacted”, which makes similar statements about mistrusting news reports. Rather than using a home video style to make you believe in the reality more, George Romero uses a variety of footage–mixed media, if you will–to point out the unreality of everything you’ve ever seen, including this movie.

George Romero has long had a reputation as the nicest guy working in horror. With this movie, I wonder if he’s final become a cynical, misanthropic bastard who actual believes humanity doesn’t deserve to survive. As for me, as long as humanity can make movies like this, I’ll let it keep going.

Posted by Jason Wiener in Movie Reviews on February 25th, 2008

Then it was back to the Roxie for “Paranormal Activity”. This movie is fucking awesome! On the surface, it’s a simple ghost story. A young couple moves into a new house (in San Diego, but that’s not really important). All was well until the wife Katie believes the house is haunted, possibly by the same spirits that haunted her as a kid. To assuage her fears, her husband Micah sets up a video camera in their bedroom to watch them while they sleep. This movie is all made of their home videos (new trend hitting the mainstream, what with “Cloverfield” and “Diary of the Dead”?) And it’s a slow buildup. There’s a good 30 minutes before the first “scare”, and that’s a door moving 2 inches back and forth. Could be the wind, but all the windows were closed! But the sloooooow buildup continues, and without giving anything away I’ll say by the end it was kicking everyone’s ass. The slow build is absolutely vital for building up the realism, and although 30 minutes of not much happening might sound boring, it’s absolutely vital. I haven’t heard real screams like this in a theater in quite a while, and this is a jaded Indiefest midnight audience. Wow!

Now I’m actually a little relieved that I haven’t had time to write for a week. You see, something has happened to this movie. It played at Slamdance, where it was bought up by Dreamworks–so they can remake it. With a remake in the works, they don’t want people watching this version. It’s already been pulled from Cinequest, and they tried to prevent Indiefest from seeing it. I was pissed, and more so after seeing this little buried masterpiece. I’ve now calmed down somewhat (partly because I know last Wednesday night’s screening happened, with a Dreamworks rep in the house), and what I write now is addressed directly to the executives at Dreamworks:

Gentlemen, you’ve picked up a wonderful property, now please don’t fuck it up! I’m not a hard-liner who’s against remakes. Honestly, I’m curious to see how you will handle this material (I have a hard time believing a major studio will give the audience enough credit to go 30 minutes just to see a door move back and forth as the first “scare”, but we’ll see how it goes). I liked the original enough that nothing short of universally awful reviews will keep me from seeing your remake. With that said, please don’t keep the original version hidden forever. I’m still displeased you got it pulled from Cinequest. I was looking forward to running around Cinequest telling everyone to see it, now I’ll have to run around telling everyone how awesome it was and how they should cry because they don’t get to see it. Anyway, I just want to beg you (seriously, I’m on my knees as I type this), please please please pleeeeease! After you’ve had fun with your remake, please release the original version in some form. Perhaps a special edition DVD with both versions? Because this movie is excellent, and if you hide this away the world of cinema will be missing a treasure. Thank you for listening to me.

Posted by Jason Wiener in Movie Reviews on January 27th, 2008

Jason watches “Teeth”

Have you ever felt that maybe your entire life has just been practice? That all the joy, frustration, hopes, fears, triumph and failure is just preparing you for a special moment when you watch the movie that makes it all worthwhile? No? Maybe it’s just me….

The vagina dentata myth has existed in just about every culture. And if you don’t think there are remnants left in our modern culture, look closer. It survives in characters of dangerous, sexual women (such as the stereotypical wicked stepmother, stealing the good but weak father away). And it survives in visual symbols, often in surprising places. Next time you watch Disney’s “The Little Mermaid”, check out the mouth of Ursula’s cave (Ursula, of course, is a classic vagina dentata character). For that matter, re-watch “Return of the Jedi” and think about he Sarlacc pit–probably not intentional, but was there something in George Lucas’ subconscious that chose that form for terror? We’ve even invented an anti-rape device that turns the myth into reality.

Anyway, on to the movie. I just wanted to prove I’m not really crazy for looking forward to this movie. The myth has a long and illustrious history, and I’ve long thought it’s due for a modern revisiting. With this movie, the result is the greatest superhero movie ever! Maybe I’m supposed to be scared, but this is really far more comedy than horror. Dawn is a young abstinence enthusiast, so unfamiliar with her own body she doesn’t realize she has an extra set of teeth. When she meets a totally dreamy boy in her abstinence club (which from what I read is the primary activity of such clubs), one thing leads to another…and ends poorly–stump #1! The final stump count is only 7, and that’s a little inflated since 4 are fingers. Fingers from the same hand. Yeah, the gynecologist scene is awesome! Anyway, it’s set up well for a sequel–which I’d be the first in line to see.

Posted by Jason Wiener in Movie Reviews on January 22nd, 2008

Okay, this has been eagerly anticipated on the ol’ internet, so hopes are up and people are primed to be disappointed. Well, I wasn’t. I can nitpick a few things, but all in all I think it’s a great movie.

There’s nothing I haven’t seen before. Monster destroys New York–that’s been done. It’s really hard to come up with a new monster anymore. And as for hand-held camcorder “found footage”, forget “Blair Witch” (I’ve tried, it’s worth it), but I’ve seen that it tons of film festival movies. But merging the two techniques is something new. Camcorder films have always been from filmmakers who have no money, not enough money to simulate throwing the Statue of Liberty’s head across the city (I assume they didn’t actually do that!) And I’ll give them credit for that, and for making a movie that’s fast paced and completely enjoyable. And tons of credit for the SFX guys for blending the sophisticated effects shots with the hand held video. That couldn’t have been easy.

The idea is new, but using so many borrowed techniques that it feels inevitable. If they hadn’t made this movie, someone would have within a few years. It’s odd for a movie to feel this original and this predestined.

Now I know some people won’t like this movie (like the guy who got up at the end of the screening and started booing it). It does frustrate the audience in some ways. I know a lot of people won’t be used to watching hand-held shaky cam pictures, and there are bits of scenes where it’s hard to tell what exactly is happening (other than a lot of panicking). And some people will be frustrated by how you never get a good look at the monster. Personally, I think there are shots near the end that show too much, but the introduction scene is brilliant.

In any case, I think this will be a movie that will divide audiences. Those who can’t take the disorientation of the hand held camera will hate it. Some will look right past that and see a plot that’s something like the middle of a Godzilla movie, without a proper introduction or payoff. But me, I see it as a fun time and an impressive achievement in movie-making.

Oh, and as for the nitpicking I said I could do. Three things:

First, when Robert Hawkins is trying to check his messages on his cell phone (his girlfriend Beth left a message he couldn’t quite hear earlier) he quiets everyone in the store. It gets really quiet–enough that you can hear her voice on the other side of the phone. Okay, maybe everyone in the store was quiet, but there’s a giant fucking monster stomping around outside, with military guys firing at it! Are we to believe that the monster and the military both took a break so he could check his message?

Second, when they’re all down in the subway system, they stay there for a while before deciding to walk the tunnels to midtown. That was my first instinct, why did it take them so long?! As it turns out, it’s not a great idea. But if there’s a monster stomping around outside and you can get where you want to go underground, that seems like a good idea.

And third, this is just a general complaint I always have about movies that are supposed to be camcorder found footage. There are times I just can’t believe he’d keep filming what’s happening rather than drop the camera and run. They try to cover that with the “people will want to know” quote. And I guess it works. I really shouldn’t dismiss a whole category of films based on this nitpick, especially since one of my favorite movies, “Jimmy and Judy” uses that technique.